Olivewood

My friend Mohammad Al-Shiabbat shared with me the link for his website, www.genuineolivewood.com.  Prices aren't listed, but there is a local American phone number you can call for price inquiries.  Mohammad is a Palestinian who joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church) years ago while in America and is currently raising his family in Bethlehem.  He has been a gracious host to us in the past and would be happy to help you order carved olivewood pieces from his local suppliers in Bethlehem.  

We Love You, Tori!

September 20, 2014

I was so moved by the events of last week that I just need to write this down before too much time goes by.

Last week I attended the funeral of 17-year old Victoria Campbell, our dear friend who was diagnosed with MLD 2 years ago.  Even after chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant--treatments which seem to have arrested the disease in two of her siblings--the disease affected Tori’s ability to walk, then slowed her speech, and finally brought silence to the formerly vivacious teenager.  Amazingly she continued to keep a sunny disposition, enjoying school, seminary, and friends as long as she could.  Her life was full of vibrant moments: she was elected homecoming queen, graduated early, and swam with dolphins on her Make-A-Wish cruise.  Through it all, Tori’s parents Aaron and Emily spared no effort to make every day count.  As friends had always been important to Tori, they graciously opened their hearts and their home to Tori’s friends so she could be surrounded by love as much as possible.

My daughter Carrie was one of Tori’s friends, and she taught me that even when she couldn’t talk, Tori was still the same person on the inside, capable of laughing at jokes or noticing whether people were talking about her instead of to her.  Teasing Tori and confiding in her like always, Carrie would wait patiently for the thumbs- up signal that showed Tori was keeping up her end of the conversation.  She had a gift for making Tori laugh with open-mouthed, wide-eyed silent chuckles.  

Gradually even the laughter and the hand gestures faded.  All who knew Tori were forced to accept the cruel fact that she was slipping away.  Nurses assured family and friends that she could still hear, so during her final weeks, Tori’s friends often gathered near to hold her hands, stroke her hair, sing to her, and just be there.  Her family knew that any breath could be the last.  They hovered near, reading from Tori’s journals, poring over photos, laughing and crying with other loved ones, and doing whatever they could to show love and make Tori comfortable.

Early afternoon on Sunday, September 7, Tori peacefully slipped away.  Most of us found out during church.  My daughter Lisa found out during a sweet lesson about the plan of salvation, the plan of forgiveness and progression in which our Savior took upon himself our sins and promises us eternal life and joy when we follow him.  The usual lessons were set aside as the young women Tori’s age sang her favorite hymns, talked about favorite memories, and shared hugs and tears.  We knew she was free from the pain of an imperfect body, reunited with loved ones, and clasped in the Savior’s love, so we felt grief tempered by faith, but still our pain was great.  

The funeral took place at the high school on Saturday, September 13.  Hundreds of paper hearts lined the walls of the auditorium’s foyer, and Tori’s face smiled at us from dozens of picture frames and scrapbook pages.  We were given ribbons to tie around our wrists and cards with quotes from Tori’s journal.  For example at age 7 she wrote, “I love my family a lot.  They are really cool.  They take care of me, share, and play with me.”  Questions on the back of each card asked us to ponder and apply the principle: “What makes your family special?  List ways you can be a more caring, sharing, and playful family member.”

Friendship figured prominently in Tori’s journals and in the funeral messages.  At age 7, Tori was mature enough to be happy for her friends’ abilities:  “I am grateful for talents.  If some friend didn’t have a talent I couldn’t learn from them.  My talent is making friends.”  At age 10, Tori wrote, “When I share things I feel good.  Like when I share my toys with my sisters & when I shared my CTR ring with Helen.  Also, it is really easy to make friends when you share.” (CTR stands for Choose the Right.)  Tori’s dad Aaron said Tori had an abundance mentality, generosity springing from the philosophy that whatever she really needed, she could always get more of.  One of the songs sung at her funeral by a small choir echoes the kind of generosity Tori was known for: “Because I Have Been Given Much, I Too Must Give.”      

A simple thing like Tori sharing a CTR ring led her friend family to learn more about the Church which meant so much to Tori.  At age 12 she wrote, “I love the Gospel & the scriptures & the Church & the temple & Young Womens… and especially Jesus.  Yep, I love Jesus the most.”  Her faith would continue to be foundational in the trials she would face.

At age 13, Tori wrote “Without love, life would be pretty horrible.  I need to do a better job showing everyone how much I love them so they know someone cares.”  Tori loved to make lists in her journals, from her favorite things to boys she liked.  Karen Fritz, Tori’s grandmother, said it was clear from her journals that, yes, Tori was boy-crazy, but more than that she was “people-crazy”--she wrote extensively about her girlfriends, too, and genuinely loved people!  Frequently she wrote names of her friends who seemed sad or lonely and what she could do to help them feel better.  Tori would notice people who sat alone at lunch, which was very poignant to hear, because during her last year of high school, Tori’s friends made an effort to sit with Tori at lunch and accompany her to class.      

 Later at age 15, she wrote, “I officially have the best friends EVER!!!  They are so good at helping me make good choices.  I hope I am just as good of a friend to them as they are to me.”  When Tori found out that her friend was interested in a boy that she also liked, she was disappointed, but admitted that they would make a cute couple.  Then she planned an activity and invited them both so they could get to know each other better.  In another journal entry, Tori wrote that some people were saying unkind things about her because her then-undiagnosed disease was affecting her academically.  Rather than being bitter, she expressed the wish that she could invited them to a party so they could find out that she was a good person on the inside.

Gratitude was another constant theme of Tori’s writings.  “I have so many things to be thankful for – I could fill up a whole journal,” she wrote at age 12.  “In fact, I think I will ask mom for another journal & do that right now.”    How fitting that the audience sang at her funeral, “Count Your Many Blessings.”

Tori’s ability to be grateful for whatever situation life gave her didn’t change with her diagnosis.  Even after learning that her grueling treatment had likely failed, she wrote, “Our lives are meant to be happy.  If this is the only life we have I want it to be a good one & I am going to live it to the full extent of my life.”  Aaron said that never once during this experience did Tori lose faith or hope that she could be with her family forever; never once did she lose faith in her Savior Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for us all.  And never once did she doubt that she would be resurrected with a perfect body.  Tori’s favorite hymn, sung by a choir of high school students, states, “I know that my Redeemer lives. He lives and grants me daily breath. He lives, and I shall conquer death. He lives my mansion to prepare. He lives to bring me safely there.” 

In another musical number, a soloist poignantly sang, “I Was Here” while images of Tori and her family filled the screen.  The closing song was “I am a Child of God” sung in Spanish, an homage to the Campbell family’s years of living and traveling abroad.  At a church in Brazil, Aaron bought spools of ribbons saying “In remembrance of our Savior of good endings.”  These ribbons reminded the wearer to make good choices in honor of a departed loved one.  The hope is that each person who is touched by Tori’s life will strive to be a person worth knowing, just a little more generous, happy, or faithful; more grateful, more loving to family and friends.  Tori’s mom Emily reminded us that we always have a choice.  In LDS verbiage, we have our agency, meaning we can be proactive about what we do, not just wait to be acted upon, and while we don’t know how long our journey on earth will last, we can treat each day like the gift it truly is.

The journals, the slide shows, and the talks by siblings, parents, and grandma brought to life once again the real Tori, not just the patient sufferer in an imperfect body, not just the beloved recipient of well-deserved service, but the young woman full of life and agency, a caring girl with big dreams and plans to make them come true.  I know that her spirit, her essence, the real Tori continues on.  I can imagine her in the next world, freed from silence and stillness embracing loved ones who went before and telling them about each of her family members and how they were all coping with this trial.  And probably laughing about which girls were sitting next to which boys at the funeral.

That person was so real to me at that moment that watching the coffin leave the auditorium brought fresh grief.  The simple pine coffin was decorated with the scripture: “My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.”    Those invited to the graveside service wrote messages of love on her coffin:  “Love you forever!  Until we meet again!  See you soon!”

Nauvoo trip day 1

We began  our Nauvoo trip by reading scriptures in the car, which helps invite the Spirit, which helps keep kids happy in the car and also brings all things we forgot to pack to our remembrance.

The chapter for today was Alma 54, in which Captain Moroni demonstrates how not to win friends and influence people.  Basically, he insults the leader of the opposing army and tells him that  terrible things will happen to him as a result of his wickedness.    Kind of like David vs. Goliath, or John Taylor in a verbal battle with unfriendly newspaper editors.  You have to admire that kind of confidence that the Lord will back him up, even if this is not the preferred approach in modern times.

We drove south through Spanish Fork canyon, past Thistle  and the our stake pioneer trek site from last week's adventure.  Then through the painted mountains and sand-dune like foothills of southern Utah to I-70. We saw huge boulders, big raptors, and brave rafters enjoying the white water of the Colorado river.  We tried to channel John Denver with my iPhone but I think Rocky Mountain high was not referring to bandwidth.

For lunch we ate sandwiches in the car, dinner was potato salad, entertainment was Peanuts comic books, read alouds, electronics,  and a lightning show after dark right after we passed Kanorado.  Or was it Coloransas?

Highlights:
Amanda and Lisa: lightning. Carrie: potato salad. Emily: naps. Mom: happy kids. Megan: clouds. Frank: mountains and river of Colorado.

December 2013

 

 BYU hosts a Christmas party for employees' families--crafts, entertainment, donuts, and Santa.

 We braved the snow to attend cousin Tanner's birthday and Hillary's baby blessing. 

 Fillmore and Craig cousins

 

 

 

Baklava for a Relief Society activity--if I can make it, anyone can!

 

Emily's first grade Christmas program was adorable!  Favorite songs: "I don't want any part of mistletoe" and "I want a snake for Christmas."

 

 Fourth-graders from Grandma Fillmore's elementary school played handchimes during her production of Scrooge.

Even the underside of the trampoline is a wonderland in the winter.

It took a week or so, but finally the soft snow got just the right texture for a snowman.

 Hooray!  We made it all by ourselves!

 Got to catch some more snowflakes in our hair!

November 2013

We had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner with Frank's parents and two of his brothers' families.  I didn't take many photos, as I was busy with the turkey, and it needed a lot of help!

 

 

 Besides being Thanksgiving, it was also Hannukah, so I made a challah to celebrate.  Challah is traditionally eaten on the Sabbath, but it was easier than making latkes.

 

 

The next day some of my family came over for games, leftovers, and pie.

  The cousins loved playing with Uncle Mark

We danced away some of the calories with the American Idol dance mat. Here, Ephraim and Melinda take a turn.

Play dough came out the next day...

 

We went to the Savior of the World production on Saturday--such beautiful music and message!

We met the Craig kids there, full of news about their brand new baby sister.  How sweet to contemplate the importance of each new baby at Christmas time. My cousin's birth announcement said, "When God wants to accomplish something special, he sends a baby...and waits."

Snow fell the following Tuesday.

 Lisa played two songs in her band concert

 We're grateful for cousins, food, health, moisture, the Savior, talents, and friends!

Halloween

Happy Halloween!

 

Amanda and Emily copy their pumpkins' facial expressions while our neighbor Gabby mimics Lisa's.

 

This is the first year everyone carved their own pumpkins all by themselves.  I only helped with the hats and the guts.

 This is the word Salaam,  سلام Arabic for peace.

 Shalom! שָׁלוֹם

 Hard to see after a day of shrinking, but this says, "Peace."

Carrie is still a die-hard Dr. Who fan, despite being too busy to ever watch it anymore.

Other October Highlights: Lunch and General Conference with Frank's family:

 Mom Judd, two daughters, and two daughters-in-law

 Chuck and Laurie Atanasio spent the weekend in Utah, and will bring their whole family out for Christmas!

 Dinner with Kent and Nancy Jackson, and Ed and Candice Stratford at Milagros.

 We spent a fun evening with Stephanie Buchta Slack, and her husband Dave and son Parker.

We enjoyed the Make a Wish Fun Run/Walk to benefit Carrie's friends Tori and Madelena Campbell who have MLD. 

 

General Conference

I have read versions of this poem many times in the past, and it resonated with my life experiences:

I asked for strength.

God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom.

God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity.

God gave me brawn and brain to work.

I asked for courage.

God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for patience.

God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.

I asked for love.

God gave me troubled people to help.

I asked for favors.

God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.

I received everything I needed.

Last weekend in General Conference, I heard a quote I like even more.  I believe God blesses us with trials, but also with the tools to endure and learn from our trials.

Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective  and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction andconfidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience. -David A. Bednar