High-Speed Adventure

I wish I could bring you all here with me!  How can I put into words the feeling of  driving up and down winding streets narrow enough to be one-way but full of oncoming traffic and cars parked on both sidewalks, both directions.  Can you envision this? Can you imagine turning a corner and seeing a cable van parked in front of you, still with oncoming traffic, and hearing cars behind you honking, unmistakeably saying, "Stop gumming up traffic and just go around the van already, you wimpy American!"  If only you could be here to experience it first hand. 

I'm not much of a thrill-seeker.  I've never been to Lagoon or Disney World, and the ferris wheel at the Orem Summerfest is usually enough for me.  One of the many great things about having small kids is begin able to say to Frank, "Honey, you go ahead and ride the Scrambler.  Really, I don't mind.  I'll just take the kids to the rug slide."  Someday (which seems to be coming too fast) my little kids won't be little anymore, and they'll be wanting to ride the Scrambler. 

After school last Wednesday, Carrie's homeroom teacher at the Anglican school took the 10th grade class to a Mall in Talpiyot where they could drive go-karts.  This is in West Jerusalem, mostly inhabited by Israelis.  (Still crazy roads, only here the curbs are painted blue and white and you have to pay to park on the sidewalks.)  Her adventure included a bus ride on an Israeli bus, where all the riders studiously avoided eye contact (this is considered polite), then an elevator ride down to the 4th floor underground in a parking garage, forking over 55 shekels (about $14), putting on a huge full-faced helmet, then hearing a lecture in rapid, Hebrew-accented English about driving slowly and something about a flag.  Carrie was the only native English speaker in the group, and even then she didn't understand it all.  Sorry this isn't a photo of Carrie.  She forgot her camera.

Carrie said the go-kart looked just like the one Uncle Mark was fixing (he took the governor off it and almost made highway speeds).  She strained to push the pedals, and putted around the track lined with old tires.  Her classmates whizzed by her, bumping into the tires and staying stuck (no reverse gear).  If we hadn't come to Israel, Carrie would have been doing this in the church parking lot with our Isuzu Oasis right now, only hopefully not crashing into things, which she did with the go-kart after she got the hang of driving, then she careened around corners with the best of them.  After flags started waving about 10 minutes later, the students eventually got the message that they were supposed to go back and park.  Then they all walked a couple of blocks and got ice cream.

Speaking of driving, and parking, I drove the center's old subaru sedan to the Anglican school Friday morning for a PTA meeting.  The old car is great, especially when you don't need A/C and it's pre-dented, so less pressure.  Then afterwards I was thinking about going to the Mahane Yehuda shuk, which is within walking distance from the kids' school.  Here's what it looked like last Friday:

His t-shirt says, "Halva King"

Instead, I drove to Saladin street in East Jerusalem.  I was actually looking for a waffle maker (don't try to send me one, it won't have the right voltage, but thanks for the thought!).  Turns out I was too early, because only the money changers and flower shops were open at 9:30 am.  Here's what Saladin Street looks like on a busy day:

Aladdin Money changer posts notes from BYU students

Saladin Street in East Jerusalem outside Aladdin's

But at least with no crowds, there was plenty of parking.  I found a lot with only three cars, but he must have been expecting crowds because they were parked as close as sardines.  The Palestinian parking attendant was very polite, spoke English, and said I could park there for only 15 shekels ($3.75), but be sure to get back by 12:30 because he was going to the Al-Aksa Mosque for Friday prayers.  (Al-Aksa is next to the Dome of the Rock.)

Then he said, "Are you from BYU?  I remember this car.  Very good car.  Ten years ago a lady named Jan from BYU came here."  I was amazed that he would remember this car from 10 years ago!  I can't even remember for sure if the lady's name was Jan, and I heard the name only 24 hours ago.  I told him the hours for tours at the "Mormon University" as the BYU Jerusalem Center is known, but only after November because of renovations (glass windows in the auditorium are being replaced).

After parking, I looked for the appliance store, but it was closed.  I bought some overpriced flowers for the Sabbath (15 shekels for 5 carnations--I should have haggled), then bought some parking passes from Achmed's stationery store (7 shekels each, good for an hour).  Achmed showed me how to scratch off the date and time to activate them, and even posed for a photo. 

As I drove home past the pita factory, past Wadi al-Joz, up the Mt. Scopus highway (don't take the tunnel to Jericho! you'll need your passport to get back!) and into our driveway, I felt so glad to be able to navigate the roads, the parking lots, a few stores, and while I didn't come with everything I was looking for, it was still a thrill to zoom around the tiny roundabouts, walk the streets with confidence, and then get back safely to my fortress on a hill.  Almost as much fun as Lagoon.  But cheaper.




Driving Hints for Jerusalem:
1. People honk a lot, but not necessarily because they're miffed at you.  Often the honk means, "I'm passing you on the left," or "You may want to know I'm here before you back up."

2. He who hesitates is lost.  At many intersections, such as "Crash Corner,"  there is no clear right of way, so if you wait for traffic to clear, you'll hear the kind of honk that means people behind you are miffed at you.  Better to look for a small opening, make eye contact with the driver, and edge confidently (translation: "step on it") into the opening, trusting that they'll see you and yield.  But be prepared to brake as the other driver challenges you to see if you really want that opening. 

3. If there is a traffic light, you can expect drivers to start fast and stop fast, unlike Provo where drivers assume you can proceed if you're in the intersection when the light turns red.  So don't try to hurry through the end of a yellow light before it turns red.  Also, don't let your mind wander during the red light, or you'll miss the bonus yellow light warning you the light is about to turn green.  Red then yellow means "Step on it, fellow," or else you'll hear the "miffed at you" honk.  Sometimes you'll hear the honk before the light turns green, which proves that sound travels faster than light. 

4. Another difference is that you don't have the right to make a right turn on red, even when the traffic is clear, unless you have your own right turn lane, in which case you only have to watch out for pedestrians.

5. Speaking of pedestrians, the pedestrian walk signals may only be effective for half of the street.  Some divided roads will give you safe passage to the median, where you must wait again for another walk signal.  If there is no walk signal at the pedestrian crossing, then walkers must use the same moxy described in paragraph 2 above: eye contact, then confidently proceed, but save yourself enough room to jump out of the way if necessary.  Sidewalks are considered

6. Finding your way: Street names are hard to read and sometimes change halfway down the street.  The GPS narrator mangles Hebrew and Arabic names.  So to find a location you haven't been before, I recommend you ask a local and write down their directions, including major landmarks.  Also plug the destination into your GPS, agreeing to override "Route C avoidance" (if your route crossed the 1948 or 1967 green lines).  In addition, look up the address on Google Maps and print out the directions or thumbnail maps.  Finally, you should also bring a good street map of the city.  Take all these resources and dump them in the lap of your 11-year old navigator and pray before you turn on the car.  Pray hard.